Parody of Season 7
by The Cellar Dweller
Summary: Yes, yet ANOTHER Parody. Just what the net needed. Just having a little fun. BTW If you hate Spike or love Kennedy you won't like it much. Final chapter up.
1. Parody S7 Pt I

SEASON 7  
  
Okay, yet another parody. I just had to get this out. Please note I love 'Buffy', obviously so don't take this as bashing. I think Joss and his team are some of the best TV creators in TV history, but I'm not blind to little mistakes or decisions I thought were a little bad. So I'm not bashing, just having a little fun. Parody is just another compliment, masquerading as humor. I think someone said that...  
  
Oh and I sorta jump through the season at intervals, marked by the ********s.  
  
Disclaimer: Oy, once again, Joss owns all, we owe crap. That's why our stuff's on the net and his is on TV.  
  
** **  
  
Buffy: "I'm so happy. The new season starts and I won't be so angsty, depressed and...*AHEM*, horny and kinky anymore. Now we'll get back to the ROOTS! The High School is reopened. Where it all began. Things will be like they used to!"  
  
Joss Whedon in the background: "Right. What everyone thought when I said the High School would be rebuilt. Of course if we really went back to high school stories, we'd have renamed the show "Dawn". Which we really didn't. And really not gonna."  
  
Dawn: "I'm excited too! I get to wear high heels this season! And be important! And kick ass! Like now, when Buffy's teaching me to slay! She's my Yoda! I rule! Spin-off here I come! Woohoo!"  
  
Joss: "Sure, sweetheart, sure."  
  
Wood: "Hi, I'm the new principal, Robin Wood. Get it? It's a play on words. It's like 'Robin Hood', and yet not, ya know?"  
  
Audience: "......."  
  
Wood: "And my real name is 'Woodside', which makes it even more humorous."  
  
Audience: "......."  
  
Wood: "And the whole 'wood' thing of course is a sly hint at my sexual virility.  
  
Audience: "......."  
  
Wood: "Tough crowd. Uh, did I mention I am really shiny?"  
  
Buffy: "Man you really are. And I shall look at you like I COULD find you attractive. Then again, it may just mean I'm gazing at my reflection in your head. Let's not find out."  
  
Dawn: "Buffy!! Something's going on in the school with...ghosts..or something. It's making me scream more than usual on one day!"  
  
Buffy: "And yet the ghosts are still there???"  
  
Dawn: "....."  
  
Buffy: "Keep your panties on. I'll save the day by skulking in the school's cellars and kicking the ass of zombie janitors and the like."  
  
Spike: "Cryptic Drusilla-esque rambling. Sexy tussled hair. Sad look. More cryptic talk. More ramblings. But I did manage to make it all the way back here from Africa, while totally nuts. But of course the fact a vampire went from the US to Africa on a motorbike was miracle enough. Anyway, ramble, ramble..."  
  
Buffy: "Oh goodness! It's Spike who loves me, with whom I've had an intense relationship on many levels, both bad and good, and who disappeared from Sunnydale, right after that shocking scene where for no reason at all I suddenly turned into a weak and whimpering little soap-opera character. Now he's in the school basement near the Hellmouth and is out of his mind!! I have no idea where he's been or what's happened to him! There's only one reaction to this!"  
  
(Buffy shrugs, turns and leaves Spike in the basement. The first time of many..)  
  
The First: "Ha! I shall rule! I am the greatest villain of the entire series! Not to mention cheap, because they can use the other actors to be me. And they need the money this season for more FX stuff. But I don't feel totally short changed. In this ep alone I am about a dozen guest actors! Ha! (Suddenly sighs sadly) Which will hopefully compensate for the fact that I am doomed to do little more than stand around and gab....."  
  
**************  
  
Buffy: "Oh my goodness! Spike seemed normal for a few hours, but then he started acting weird again and now he's rambling worse than ever. What happened to him? Well at least he's getting naked again."  
  
(Then follows Spike's heart-rendering monologue in the church.)  
  
Buffy: "Oh my god. He got his soul! For me! Something Angelus would never do! This is amazing! I am standing here with tears in my eyes! And Spike's hanging there, on that cross, one of the great tragic images of our time. And also something that really can't be good for vamps! There's only ONE reaction to all this!"  
  
(Buffy shrugs, turns around and leaves the church)  
  
Spike: "Buffy? Are you still there? Buffy?"  
  
(Church is empty save for him)  
  
Spike: "Aowie..."  
  
*****************  
  
Willow: "Well I'm back. Now we all have to deal with me nearly killing everyone last season. Of course, I'll be forgiven way easier than Spike or Anya, even though I wasn't even a demon or soulless or anything. But then I AM Willow and I'm still the cutest girl on TV. And on the set."  
  
(Crew, writers, actors and Joss all nod. Sarah and Michelle grumble.)  
  
Buffy: "Hmm we need to find this skin-eating demon. Oh wait, I left Spike at that church. He now has a soul which he got for me! He lost his sanity because of it and is now clearly in need of help! This was the great cliffhanger from last season! And now last ep I found out about it! I must act!"  
  
(Buffy decides to use Spike as a bloodhound while Xander insults him and she makes cracks about the 'crazy vampire'. This gal's clearly all heart.)  
  
Buffy: "Ok, good doggie. Now shoo."  
  
(Spike goes back to the school basement where the Hellmouth is because it's clearly such a great place to be.)  
  
***************  
  
Cassie: "I can see the future. I'm about to die, but first I have to say to you: She'll tell you. One day she'll tell you."  
  
Spike: "Who will tell me what?"  
  
Cassie: "Her. She'll say, you know, 'it'."  
  
Spike: "Uh...thanks....I think."  
  
Cassie: "In all honesty though, she probably won't really mean it."  
  
Spike: "...okay."  
  
Cassie: "But you won't be ENTIRELY sure and neither will anyone else."  
  
Spike: "Good thing you won't be doing this seer-stuff for a living."  
  
*************  
  
Buffy: "Oh Spike, one third of the season is over and you're still in the school basement!"  
  
Spike: "Tell me about it!"  
  
Buffy: "Don't worry, I'm here. I have the perfect solution. I'll put you up with Xander. You know, the guy who hates your guts! Even after you saved his life a couple of times."  
  
Spike: "......I miss my crypt."  
  
Buffy: "Yeah well, they tore that set down. Deal with it."  
  
Xander: "Man, I gained a few pounds since last season."  
  
Spike: "Hey, so did I."  
  
Xander: "......"  
  
Spike: "Well, I did."  
  
Xander: "....Shut up."  
  
** **  
  
TBC! 


	2. Parody S7 Pt II

SEASON 7 PARODY  
  
PART II  
  
** **  
  
Holden: "Even though I'm a vampire with a really short role, I'm leaving my mark here."  
  
Audience: "This guy is really funny! Couldn't we keep him and have Buffy stake those annoying SiTs instead? Or maybe just Kennedy?"  
  
Joss: "No, besides, they're not even here yet!"  
  
Audience: "Details!"  
  
Buffy (dusts Holden): "Hmm Spike is biting people again? I must investigate. Someone should watch him during the day."  
  
Xander: "Sure, let's ask Anya."  
  
Anya: "Uhm, I am no longer a demon and completely helpless, yet you leave me alone with a vampire that might be on a killing spree? Me, the woman you loved for years??"  
  
Xander: "Yeah, sure. Bye."  
  
Anya: "....Just for that, I'm gonna have sex with Spike. Happyland here I come!"  
  
Spike: "Uh, no. Sorry."  
  
Anya: "Why not?? You're sure not having any sex with Buffy this season! Or getting any nicer treatment than the average dog for that matter."  
  
Spike: "Yeah well, you see, that's fine because now that I have a soul I have all the pride and spunk of a depressed slug. Anyway, leave me alone so I can punch your ex in the face later on."  
  
Anya: "Sounds peachy!"  
  
(Later)  
  
Xander: "Spike you can't leave. Time for me to do that thing where I pretend I'm intimidating."  
  
Spike: *KAPOW!*  
  
Xander falls to the ground.  
  
Spike: "Well worth the headache. And at least one moment in this season that worked out nicely for me."  
  
**********  
  
Buffy: "Well Spike, you were brainwashed and the First had you biting people, and now you're tied to my chair. Hmmm, and at my mercy.....hmmmm..the endless possibilities... Ahem, no wait this isn't Season 6. Too bad."  
  
Spike: "TELL me about it!"  
  
Buffy: "And in the next room Anya is beating up Andrew. I think Joss really does have a 'thing' for strong, dominant women."  
  
Spike: "Just wait till Dawn starts hitting Andrew for fun and she and Anya discuss torture options."  
  
Buffy: "Yeah, hey, what type of feminism is this anyway??"  
  
(Joss grins....)  
  
Spike: "I had to endure unspeakable trials and horrible torture to get my soul for you. And I'm now so sad remembering Season 6. You really used me for your own ends."  
  
Buffy (thinks) : 'Man, demonic trials and torture. For me. And he's clearly suffering under all this. All the guilt and the hurt, and he's all alone. And only now does he see how he was my buttmonkey in Season 6....There's only one thing to say to all this!'  
  
Buffy shrugs and says: "Yeah, duh."  
  
Group of guys in robes come in: "Hi, we work for the First. We're the Bringers and we're here to take Spike, which is not a good way to live up to our name. Maybe you should call us by our other name: Harbingers. Of course all fanfic writers will just combine that into 'Harbringers', but hey...."  
  
Buffy: "You got scars for eyes! How do you even see?"  
  
Bringers: "We don't. We're just so evil we constantly go around stabbing aimlessly around us. We're bound to hit something every now and then."  
  
************  
  
The First: "Hahaha, Spike. You're in my ultimate evil hands now. I'll have you chained to an S&M device and cut with kinky knives...let me morph into Buffy just to give this scene a little symbolic irony and make it a little juicier."  
  
Spike: "Yeah, very fitting. And hey, this reminds me of when Glory strung me up and tortured me..I'm definitely beginning to see a pattern in Joss' 'feminism'."  
  
Joss: "*Pant, pant* Ahem, I mean....uhm, no comment."  
  
********  
  
Giles: "Hello, I'm back! Excuse me while I deliberately don't touch anything. Oh, and I'm much more of a 'bringer' than those monks. I bring girls. Lots of them. With really bad accents."  
  
Some SiT: "Oh now, tha's no' fair. Moi accent's quoite foine, Oi'll have ye kno."  
  
Buffy: "....."  
  
Some other SiT: "Wah, shugah, what a coincidence. Mah accent's jus' peachy keen as well. Ah'm from thah sowth bah the way."  
  
Buffy: "Guys, anyone think those monk guys do request-kidnappings?"  
  
Kennedy: "Well not me! I'm here to STAY! In your FACE! By the way, you all suck, and I rule. I am a pushy lesbian jailbait-brat! My parents are rich! Maggots!"  
  
Buffy: "What the....?"  
  
Kennedy (to Willow): "Hi, I'm Kennedy. Also known as the Anti-Tara. Amber Benson wouldn't come back, so no resurrection for Tara. So now Joss went with Tara's exact opposite in every way."  
  
Willow: "Uh, like how?"  
  
Kennedy: "Oh you know, she was likable, sweet, intelligent, caring, gentle, quiet but strong, surprisingly witty sometimes.....somebody people would actually want to hang with in real life."  
  
Willow: "Which would make you..."  
  
Kennedy: "ME! And I'm going to have you!"  
  
Willow: "Gulp!"  
  
Kennedy: "First I'll make inappropriate innuendo about us sleeping together even though we just met, then I'll decide we go on a date."  
  
Willow: ".....good to know..."  
  
Rhona: "I'm Rhona! I am the only SiT who will be MORE annoying than Kennedy!"  
  
Kennedy: "We'll see about that!"  
  
Audience: "Do we have to?"  
  
Rhona: "Watch me go! COMPLAINING! WHINING! ANNOYING UNGRATEFUL PRATTLING! MORE COMPLAINING! ETC!"  
  
Kennedy: "Man, she IS good.."  
  
Buffy: "There's no time for all this! I have to go look for Spike!"  
  
(Buffy meets Ubervamp. Ubervamp hands Buffy her ass on a silver platter. She runs for her life.  
  
Next time, Buffy tries to save decidedly stupid SiT who thought that running through the streets at night with the Ubervamp on the loose is safer than staying with the Slayer.  
  
Ah well, that's what natural selection is for. Buffy fights Ubervamp again in a construction site. She punches him. She kicks him. She wails on him. He shrugs it off and hands Buffy her ass on a silver platter. Again.  
  
She is buried under rubble and helpless. Out cold. The Ubervamp doesn't finish her off, because.......uhm...Joss?  
  
Joss: "Because we still have about a third of the season to go!"  
  
Right. So Buffy is back home, bruised like an old banana. This moment is significant. We now enter the Buffy era of SPEECHES! Personally I dub this the Speecholitic Age of the Buffyverse.)  
  
Buffy: "This new vamp kicked my ass. Several times. But it's not going to win, because I am going to win. We will win. They will lose. We will stand over them and be victorious. They will lie at our feet after we kick their asses. We will gloat. We will laugh. We will take pictures. When the smoke clears, only one group will be left standing, and that group will be us. We will..."  
  
Everyone: "We get the gist!"  
  
Buffy: "Get used to it. I have discovered a new talent!"  
  
Everyone: "No, you really haven't!"  
  
Buffy: "Giving me lip? Sounds like some people here need a thorough speeching!"  
  
Everyone: "*Groan*....."  
  
**************  
  
TBC! 


	3. Parody S7 Pt III

SEASON 7 PARODY:  
  
PART III  
  
AN: Okay sorry this came so late. I usually try to be a regular updater, but I got banned! For a friggin' week! For something I didn't even know was illegal. Ah well...live and learn. On with the show.  
  
** **  
  
Kennedy: "Hey Willow. Here witchy, witchy. Come to mama. Growl. Did I mention my family's houses have whole wings? As opposed to this dump? Hey Willow, I hear you taste like strawberries. Why don't you sleep here in bed with me? Yum!"  
  
Willow: "Uh, because you scare the crap outta me?"  
  
Kennedy: "My time will come. Especially since we get to share a room with just the two of us even when everyone else is packed on the floor."  
  
Audience: "Hm? Oh sorry, we were just trying to see if our VCR can be programmed to tape everything BUT Kennedy."  
  
Kennedy: "Ha! Just wait till rumors start of ME being the lead in a SPINOFF!"  
  
Audience: "........."  
  
(All over the world people who were watching 'Buffy' are taken to emergency rooms in a catatonic state with their faces frozen in fear. Doctors are baffled.)  
  
Kennedy: "Pffff. Pansies."  
  
*************************  
  
Giles: "Oh Beljoxa's Eye, what is the mystery behind the First's attack on the Slayer line?"  
  
Beljoxa's Eye: "It's because of the Slayer. The energies of the Slayer power have changed."  
  
Giles: "Ahh of course. Because they brought her back from the dead!"  
  
Audience: "Intriguing! Will Buffy have to die again? What does this mean for Faith or the potentials? HOW did Buffy's resurrection change the Slayer power and HOW does it enable the First to launch it's attack?"  
  
Beljoxa's Eye: "Bugger if I know. They will never refer back to this anyway."  
  
Audience: "Wuh?"  
  
Buffy: "Ahh you SiTs. Be prepared, for my death could 'activate' ANY one of you to be the next Slayer!"  
  
Audience: "Why does she keep saying that? Her first death called Kendra, whose death called Faith who is now the end of the line. If Buffy's death could call a new Slayer a second time, wouldn't her dying in 'The Gift' have done that back then?"  
  
Buffy: "Uh...."  
  
Audience: "And in the months she was dead until S6 it was clear no new Slayer was ever called. Soo..."  
  
Buffy: "Anyway, as I was saying: Ah you SiTs, my death could 'activate' ANY one of you to be the next Slayer."  
  
Audience: "Groan....maybe the writers should start watching the show...would help."  
  
*********************  
  
The First: "Hah, I will now have you tortured some more, Spike! But let me morph into another sexy woman first!"  
  
Spike: "Yeah, wouldn't feel right if you didn't."  
  
First (morphs into Drusilla): "Hah! Now I will have my Ubervamp torture you! Hmmm, what shall I do to a vampire who doesn't need to breathe? Wait, I got it!!!"  
  
(The Ubervamp holds Spike's head underwater and for some reason, Spike is greatly distressed despite the fact he doesn't need air.)  
  
Audience: "Uhm, once again, do the writers WATCH the shows at all??"  
  
Joss: "Ahem, there's a perfectly good explanation for this....uhm.. oh I got it, here's what Spike is really screaming underwater:"  
  
Spike: "Nooo, my hair gel!! It's washing out!! Stooop! I'll get way too curly!"  
  
Audience: ".....right."  
  
The First: "Uh, yes, that's what I meant. I'll wash your hair gel out...ahem. I am SO evil....."  
  
***************  
  
(Buffy fights the Ubervamp. Again. At a construction site. Again. Nothing's really changed. Except the vamp suddenly feels her punches. This is maybe because unlike the other time, Buffy has now 'decided' to win. Or maybe because she has an audience now. Go fig. Anyway, she kills him and it's speech time again.)  
  
Buffy: "See? I have won, which is how it will be. Because we will win. And they will lose. And once they have lost it will be US who will be victorious. So you see it is THEY who should fear US, and that's why blah blahblahpowerblah Blahtiblablahevilblah...."  
  
Some SiT: "Ubervamps don't talk, do they?"  
  
Other SiT: "Nope."  
  
Some SiT: "They kill you in perfect silence."  
  
Some other SiT: "....if only he'd won."  
  
Buffy: "Shut up, ingrates! Gotta go get Spike. Free him and show him that I care. Then give him one of my incredibly emotional looks."  
  
Spike: "Oh Buffy, you came for me! You believe in me! And man, that's one intense emotional look you're giving me!"  
  
Buffy: "Uh huh."  
  
Spike: "Bugger if I know what the emotion is though."  
  
Buffy: "That's the idea. I got a million of 'em."  
  
**************  
  
(Buffy & Spike start training the SiTs. Spike play-attacks them a little. Female members in the audience sigh as British SiT is held by him from behind and wish it was THEM instead of her. When the girl wishes to be released, the words "Stupid little $^$*@#!!" are heard in many households.  
  
Buffy has her arms folded and looks all stern and teacher-like.)  
  
Buffy: "See? You guys lost because you are chanceless against a vamp like Spike. You dumb little fools. You should have run!"  
  
Some SiT: "Uh didn't you ORDER us to try and attack him?"  
  
Buffy: "Silence! This is not about my logic. This is about POWER! Vampsblahblah. blahblahSlayerblahblah blahblahblah blah!"  
  
SiTs: "Groan.."  
  
Buffy: "Spike! Attack me from behind, right when I tell you to."  
  
Spike: "Why? What's the point?"  
  
Buffy: "To show my greatness."  
  
Some SiT: "But you know exactly when and where he's coming because you're cueing him. Not exactly a sign of your skill is it?"  
  
Buffy: "Shut up. Spike......NOW!"  
  
(Spike attacks her exactly when she tells him to and she throws him on the ground. Which is less than surprising. Kind of a half-hearted attack anyway.)  
  
Buffy: "See? Now I am on top of him. This is just to show the contrast with you guys getting beat by him. You know, before he starts looking too cool."  
  
Spike: "I do whatever she wants...aow."  
  
Buffy: "Oh Spike, did I hurt you when I threw you on the ground after you jumped me right on cue? Let me lift your shirt and sensually caress your abs while I'm still straddling you....hmmm.."  
  
SiTs: "Damn that's hot."  
  
Audience: "Damn that's hot."  
  
Buffy: "Everyone turned on? Good, time to stop then."  
  
(Buffy gets up and goes back to teacher-mode)  
  
Spike: "...she's really good at that."  
  
*************************  
  
Dawn: "I'm going to be a SLAYER!! YEAH! Spin-off here I come. YAY!"  
  
Audience: "Sure, we'd watch that..uhm..maybe....sorta....uhm.. Will Spike be in it??"  
  
Dawn: "That doesn't matter! It will be ME in the LEAD!"  
  
Joss: "Ahhmm.."  
  
Dawn: "No spinoff?"  
  
Joss: (Shakes head)  
  
Dawn: "But I AM gonna be a Slayer, right? I was 'made' out of Buffy, so..."  
  
Joss: (Pulls up his nose a little and squints)  
  
Dawn: "Okay, but I AM another Potential!"  
  
Joss: (Pets her on the head) You're so cute."  
  
Dawn: "Sniff...."  
  
************************  
  
TBC! 


	4. Parody S7 Pt IV

PARODY OF SEASON 7  
  
PART IV  
  
** **  
  
(It may be a little out of order but I thought we'd put the DATING moments of season 7 all together. Seemed fitting somehow. First up, Dawn with that jacket-guy. )  
  
Dawn: "After a few setbacks, I will really rule now! This ep is about ME! I get to act wild and be all sexy! And the great depths of my character will be explored."  
  
All the males working for Joss and in the audience: "Jailbait Dawn, the pushy queen of slut-town ..... We like it so far!"  
  
Dawn: "See! My talent is shining through at last!"  
  
All the males: "Yeah! Especially in that scene at the Bronze where you sex the place up! Shake that booty!"  
  
Dawn: "Uh, wait a minute now...."  
  
All the males: "Say, who's that ugly beanpole doofus with the jacket?"  
  
RJ: "Hey!"  
  
Buffy: "Hmm, too much attention on Dawn here. Ahem, oh, I saw his magic jacket too and now *I'M* in love as well! Come RJ, I will seduce you! Growl!"  
  
RJ: "As one-time guest roles go: sweeeet!"  
  
Audience: "Wait, didn't Buffy see him in his jacket at the Bronze already? What's up with that?"  
  
Joss: *Ahem* move along people! Go with it!"  
  
Willow & Anya: "We'll fall for this jacket-trick as well! This will be funny."  
  
Audience: "Yeah, and it is. But didn't Willow see the guy in his jacket at the Bronze already too?"  
  
Joss: *glares*  
  
Audience: "Fine, fine...."  
  
Spike & Xander: "Uhm Joss? We know we're gonna steal that jacket later on but, uhm, we're supposed to run away with it down the street."  
  
Joss: "Your point?"  
  
Spike: "Well, Sunnydale really only has that one street. So when we're at the end of it, all we can really do is.....uhm, run back again?"  
  
Joss: "Right. Ahem. Let's uh, cut to another scene before you reach the end then."  
  
Dawn: "And somehow, once again, focus shifts away from me.....Joss, come on, what do I do?"  
  
Joss: "What you do best. Whine and mope. And we're going all the way with that in this ep. Now go lie on a railroad track!! And make it as melodramatic as you can!!"  
  
Dawn: "I am SO depressed."  
  
**  
  
Xander: My date! My date! I get the R&B singer guest star!! Woohoo!"  
  
(Ashanti strings Xander up and starts carving him up a bit.)  
  
Ashanti: "Psych, just another demon! Sorry about that."  
  
Xander: "Sigh. That's okay. Recurring gag. And more S&M feminism...."  
  
Ashanti: "By the way, you HAVE gained weight. Couldn't they have me string up naked Spike instead?"  
  
Xander: "I am SO depressed."  
  
**  
  
Kennedy: "Now the REAL stuff starts. Willow! Come with me! We will go on a date now!  
  
Willow: "Uh, but only weeks ago my heart was filled with mourning for my recently deceased love Tara......"  
  
Kennedy: "Ok we need some attitude adjustment. After this ep, that Lara chick is no longer mentioned. Got that?"  
  
Willow: "Uh that's Tara...."  
  
Kennedy: "What did I just say??"  
  
Willow: "Ok, ok.....date. Right. Got it."  
  
Kennedy: "OK, first we'll go to the bronze and have a drink and a half and I'll be as subtle in my wooing you as a horny rhino..Then we'll kiss."  
  
Willow: "Right, right."  
  
*Smooch*  
  
Kennedy: "Oh my god, you look like some guy!"  
  
Everyone: "Oh my god she looks like Warren!"  
  
Spike: "Aarrrrrhgggggggggggghhhhhh the chip!! It's killing meeeAAARRHGHHHHH!!"  
  
Buffy: "Yeah, yeah Spike, be right with you. Wow, Willow does look like Warren."  
  
(Everyone stands around scratching their heads while Spike writhes on the floor in agony.)  
  
Kennedy: "I'll fix this! This just reminds everyone of that Tara chick! Can't have that!"  
  
Amy: "HAH! I am involved in this!"  
  
Kennedy: "Why?"  
  
Amy: "Because..I hate Willow!"  
  
Willow: "Since when? Why?"  
  
Amy: "Uh...I dunno...says so in the script?"  
  
Kennedy: "Never mind, I have the perfect solution! I will kiss her again!"  
  
Audience: "Isn't that what CAUSED this in the first place?"  
  
*Smooch*  
  
Willow: "Wow, all the guilt and trauma and pain over the recent death of my girlfriend of several years is completely washed away by a kiss, JUST like the one that caused all this only an hour ago!"  
  
Kennedy: "Well, hello, we DID have 3 moments of awkward, pushy flirting and 2 drinks at the Bronze! That's easily worth just as much your long relationship with Tara."  
  
Willow: "Tara WHO? I LOVE you Kennedy!!!!"  
  
Kennedy: "Of course you do!!"  
  
Audience (bleeding from the eyes, nose and ears at this point): "** Uuurrggllll ** When.....does....the hurting.....stop? Any chance that...Kennedy creature is gonna bite the dust?"  
  
Joss: "Nope."  
  
Audience: "We're SO depressed."  
  
**  
  
Buffy: "My turn! My date with the shiny man!"  
  
Wood: "I am polishing my head for this."  
  
Willow: "Wow is he interested? Are you? You go through guys like hankies in this show, so.."  
  
Buffy: "I do not! But I think Wood would be 'good' for me"  
  
Audience: "Where the frag does THIS come from?"  
  
Buffy: "And I'm not STILL in love with Spike."  
  
Audience: "Hey she admits she was in love with him!"  
  
Buffy: "No, I don't."  
  
Audience: "Yes you really did."  
  
Buffy: "Nah. Anyway, Principal Wood is really shiny."  
  
Spike: "I'm fine.....really.....*snfff*."  
  
Buffy: "Not TOO fine though! Hello, this is *me* we're talking about. You don't get over me that quickly. Ask Angel! He was still brooding over me while I was already boinking frat boys and hayseed soldiers! Anyway, toodles, I got jungle fevah!"  
  
Wood: "Cool! Really!??"  
  
Buffy: "Nah, probably not. That would be an identifiable emotion."  
  
Wood: "Damn. Anyway, I am the son of a Slayer. She got killed by a vamp when I was a kid. Which would put that in the seventies."  
  
Buffy: "Okay."  
  
Wood: "So this BLACK WOMAN who was a SLAYER in AMERICA, got killed by a VAMPIRE in the SEVENTIES...."  
  
Buffy: "Okay."  
  
Wood: "Uhm, alright, it doesn't necessarily mean it *must* be Spike, but doesn't all that info coupled with what you know about Spike make you briefly WONDER at all??"  
  
Buffy: "Nah."  
  
Wood: "I think I was a little hasty with giving you that job."  
  
Audience: "Sweet girl. Not that bright."  
  
(This concludes the date parts)  
  
*********  
  
Andrew: "Wait! Don't I get a date?"  
  
Joss: "Nah."  
  
Andrew: "Come on! Not like there aren't plenty of girls around!"  
  
Joss: "Ain't gonna happen."  
  
Andrew: "Ok, I'm comic relief, I got that. I'm doing my best. (insert Star Trek reference) But now that I'm no longer the First's lackey...what do I do?? (insert comic book reference)"  
  
Joss: "Be funny and nerdy. You'll get an ep...sorta. It'll be funny. And frankly considering how I have Buffy treat Spike, be happy I don't give you a love interest."  
  
Spike: "......I tell ya, I could write a book."  
  
Andrew: "Sigh. Fine, fine. But tell me one thing. Am I gay or not?"  
  
Audience: "Yeah we were wondering ourselves. The guy's pretty funny these days, but his 'orientation' eludes us."  
  
Andrew: "Yeah, cuz half the time you insinuate I'm gay, but just when it seems clear that I AM, you have me drool over a girl. (Insert female superhero reference) So am I straight? And just weird and nerdy? But then later on there's that scene where I seem as equally taken with glamorous, hair-blowing, sexy Buffy as with naked Spike. Maybe I'm bi?"  
  
Joss: "The answer to ONE of your questions is yes."  
  
Andrew: "Urglll...(insert Star Wars reference)"  
  
** **  
  
TBC! 


	5. Parody S7 Pt V

SEASON 7 PARODY:  
  
PART IV  
  
** ** Kennedy: "Yipieee, I am in charge of the SiTs! I get to push them around and call them 'maggots' a lot! Even though I did nothing to show I'm better than any of them in any way. Except for have a big mouth and sleep with Willow!"  
  
Amanda: "Hey! Yeah! I'm the only one who killed vamps all by myself! You girls did it in groups! How come I'M not in charge? She only slept with Willow!"  
  
Buffy: "Hey, as credentials go..."  
  
Kennedy: "And now I get to sit in on Scoobie meetings even though I've done nothing to deserve it, except...."  
  
Audience: " 'Sleep with Willow'. We got it. Shut up. Speak when spoken to."  
  
Willow: "Hey, how come I, one of the main characters from day one, am suddenly reduced to being 'the girlfriend'?? That's all I am now! 'Kennedy's girlfriend' I sit beside her and smile like a good little geisha while she does the talking!"  
  
Audience: "Hey, you had to sleep with her."  
  
Willow: "Damn.."  
  
Anya: "Hey I'm kinda bored too. I used to have more to do as a character."  
  
Willow: "TELL me about it!!"  
  
Anya: "Oh shush, you had plenty of spotlight last season! I'm now competing with that nerd for the spot of comic-relief character!"  
  
Willow: "At least you're not someone's friggin' concubine...."  
  
Kennedy: "What was that??"  
  
Willow: "Ah..uh, heheh, nothing dear..."  
  
Anya: "Whatever, I think I'm gonna wear sexier stuff or dye my hair some more or, or try to have sex with Spike again. Something should work!!"  
  
Audience: "Say, why are you even here? You don't even like the Scoobies much. You're not with Xander, not a demon any more, you dislike Buffy.."  
  
Anya: "W-well, you know, D'Hoffryn put a price on my head. He 'decided to take me out after all'. I need to be here for my safety."  
  
Audience: "The guy who made that big scary point about 'NEVER going for the KILL when you can go for PAIN'? That guy?"  
  
Anya: "Uhm, yes....."  
  
Audience: "Suddenly changed his mind."  
  
Anya: "Uh....."  
  
Audience: "And is of course known for hiring incompetent, low-rent demon thugs.."  
  
Anya: "....."  
  
Audience: "And couldn't he most likely just kill you with a snap of his fingers??"  
  
Anya: "........don't you like me?"  
  
Audience: (stares at shoes) "We're sorry Anya, we really like you. Whatever keeps you around. We'll just...go with it. We're getting good at that lately. Now say something funny about sex or how everyone's gonna die!!."  
  
Anya: "No prob!"  
  
Buffy: "Ahem, later! Now it's time for another speech: Ok, you suck. And you. And you. And you. You all suck. Except for me. I don't suck."  
  
Spike: "She used to...last season...hhmmmmm.....good times...."  
  
Buffy: "Shut up! And stop thinking sexy happy thoughts! As I was saying, you all suck. You're all going to die and you deserve it. You should all make more sacrifices and work harder. You're all pathetic. I looked that word up in the dictionary and there was a group shot of all of you. You SiTs suck. You Scoobies suck. That lamp sucks."  
  
Spike: "I'm outta here."  
  
Buffy: "Not so fast! You suck too!"  
  
Spike: "No I don't! You keep me around like a dog. I train the SiTs. I patrol with you. I suffer your ALMOST sexual innuendo and vague looks and your touching me in sensitive places, full of sexual undertones. And then after all that you just send me to the basement again! And I do it all! I do everything you ask!"  
  
Buffy: "Yeah well, you still suck! Getting a soul! I like evil Spike better! At least he kicked ass."  
  
Spike: "......I'm so confused........"  
  
Buffy: "Anyhoo we're going to do a ritual where I meet some ancient Shaman guys who created the first Slayer."  
  
The Shaman: (Or..er, Shamen..Shamans..what the hell): "Yeah we decided to make that girl a Slayer a zillion years ago."  
  
Buffy: "Why a girl?"  
  
Shamen: "Joss has this thing with feminism."  
  
Buffy: "Not that again. Okay, why only ONE girl? World full of demons and only one girl. Doesn't make sense. Make an army!"  
  
Shamen: (shrug) "We just didn't like the sound of the words 'matriarchal society'. Anyway, you need more power and we can give it. Kind of icky. It involves this black magic cloud entity that's going to crawl up your..."  
  
Buffy: "WOAH! No way!"  
  
Shamen: "Oh come on, you're wearing some ridiculous goth-frock thing! Everyone knows you only wear skirts and dresses these days when you're going to have sex of SOME sort."  
  
Buffy: "That was season 6! And with a sexy naked Spike! With muscles! Unless that cloud thing can look like him...!"  
  
Shamen: "Nah, pretty much gonna stay a dark, disgusting cloud thing. Well, we were sure that after all your speeches of everyone sacrificing more and doing whatever it takes to win..."  
  
Buffy: "I was talking about THEM! Not ME! Blah!"  
  
(Buffy resists and the Great Ancient Wise Mages, these sources of the Slayer Power in the Astral Plane.....uh, start hitting her....uh, with sticks.  
  
Don't look at me. I didn't make it up. Anyway, back in Buffy's house a large demon kicks everyone's ass. It needs to be recaptured.)  
  
Spike: "I'm the only supernaturally strong fighter present. I'll get it back here."  
  
Kennedy: "Ohhh, now it's time for what may be my stupidest remark! Hey, Spike, you're super strong and have century-old battle experience and I'm just a teenage brat that does morning gymnastics but still: *I* should go instead of you cuz we SiTs are 'trained'!!!"  
  
Spike: "Yeah...by me, for one."  
  
Kennedy: "I didn't say it was my most logical remark did I?? Anyhoo, you're useless, I'M way better! You just got thrown through a ceiling!"  
  
Spike: "Which would've turned you into a pile of pulp."  
  
Kennedy: "SCOFF! This demon kicked your ass!!"  
  
Spike: "Uhm, okay am I the only one who noticed she got tossed aside like a little rag doll just now? Where is she GETTING this 'I am so great' stuff? She hasn't done squat! Ever!"  
  
Kennedy: "Shut up! Maggot! Drop and gimme 20!"  
  
Spike: "Whatever. Boy, maybe Buffy is right. My old evil self would have eaten her by now."  
  
Audience: "We'll pay to see that!!"  
  
Spike: "Sorry, not in the script. Anyway, demon hunting now. I'll go get my coat since I left my spunk and pizzazz in the pockets or something. I left it on Buffy's stairs when I went to Africa. So that means it MUST now be in the school basement."  
  
Audience: "Makes sense."  
  
(Spike kicks the demons ass and gets his rocks back. After two-thirds of a season of him moping in dark cellars, it is refreshing.)  
  
Spike: "TELL me about it!"  
  
*********************  
  
Willow: "Sorry Kennedy, my new love, that I used your energies for that spell. But you said you wanted to see me all powerful and magical..."  
  
Kennedy: "Ewww you're scary and creepy! Stay away from me!"  
  
Willow: "Uh..I thought you were so tough."  
  
Kennedy: "That wasn't even like, COOL dark magic. I'm going into my bedroom now, closing the door on you. Cuz I apparently have my own room all of a sudden. Or I'm just locking you out of yours. Whatever. Bye."  
  
Willow: "Uh...."  
  
Audience: "Well at least finally something is DONE with this... 'relationship'. A falling out? Break up? Maybe she will get killed by Dark Willow??? Maybe? Pretty please??"  
  
Joss: "Nah. And next week they'll be all lovey-dovey again like this never happened."  
  
Audience: "AARRGGHH!!!"  
  
***********************  
  
Wood: "Grrr! Spike killed my mother. Time for me to actually have a reason to be around here! Grrrr!"  
  
Giles: "Well I can finally touch things again, now that everyone knows I'm not the First. Was kind of difficult. Still, that gag I made about taking girls on a camping trip was funny."  
  
Wood: "Yeah whatever. Look Spike is dangerous, let me kill him."  
  
Giles: "Hm well he's still triggered, and Buffy is way to trusting of him. Not sure what she feels for him now."  
  
Buffy: "Sigh, it's really simple. I defend him against everyone else. No one's allowed to touch him or say bad things about him. And at the same time I barely give him the time of day, except for barking orders and give my intense, unclear looks."  
  
Spike: ".....pretty much sums it up. Maybe I should have had sex with Anya."  
  
Wood: "Anyway, Giles, we do what we have to do. It's war!"  
  
Giles: "Yes you're right. It's unpleasant but we must do what we must, not because we like it but because ours is a greater duty, and...."  
  
Wood: "So, like, I wanna take a few hours beating him to death and torturing him and stuff. That okay?"  
  
Giles: "Ah, sure."  
  
Wood: "Woohoo!"  
  
(Giles takes Buffy slaying and stalls her. Wood brings Spike to his place with the crosses.)  
  
Spike: "Uh, why the crosses? I'm supposed to have a sleepover here! And er, looks kinda kinky and gothy...."  
  
Wood: "Oh think nothing of it."  
  
Spike: "And you're getting half naked now..."  
  
Wood: "Just ignore it."  
  
Spike: "And now you're putting on some medieval torture glove thing...."  
  
Wood: "Pay no attention to it."  
  
Spike: "Uh.....this isn't some kinky gay thing is it?? Not that there's anything WRONG with that, but..."  
  
Wood: "You killed my mother and now I'll kill you!"  
  
Spike: "Ah, no okay."  
  
(Wood triggers Spike. Spike is distracted by his memories and Wood beats him. All of which works very therapeutic on Spike and he's cured and de- triggered. The following fight is pretty realistic, considering Spike's superior speed and strength: he kicks Wood's ass all over the place, tosses him around and bounces him off a wall or two. And a good time is had by all.)  
  
**Wood glaring angrily as he lies crumpled in the corner.**  
  
(Well, almost all.)  
  
*************  
  
TBC! 


	6. Parody S7 Pt VI

SEASON 7 PARODY:  
  
PART VI  
  
** **  
  
Faith: "Hey there, I heard this place needs a sexy gal!"  
  
Spike: "And the first thing you do is beat me. Fitting. And kinda hot. And at least you wear tight leather pants. Buffy used to do that...sigh."  
  
Faith: "Yeah well don't get used to it. The new wardrobe guy hates leather pants on girls. Didn't you notice all the weird crap Buffy has been wearing since the start of season 6? She used to wear leather all the time. Now it's stuff like that goth frock thing and weird torn frilly stuff."  
  
Spike: "Yeah, I noticed... Although some of those skirt things DID come in handy last season.. But you, come on, you're the leather girl!"  
  
Faith: "I know. But not anymore. This guy only put me in leather pants now because the script actually has you mentioning me wearing them. They'll be gone soon and then it'll just be sensible jeans."  
  
Spike: "Damn!!"  
  
Faith: "Don't blame me. I was wearing stuff like leather and vinyl all over the place. It's that guy...."  
  
(All male audience member write down wardrobe guy's name and vow to hunt him down like a dog. )  
  
Buffy: "Faith! Damn. The audience will notice her firm bod and realize I've been little more than a bag of bones for the last two seasons or so! And she and Spike are connecting!"  
  
Spike: "With our fists!"  
  
Buffy: "No matter! Too much! You can't have any connecting with other women. You're only allowed to sit in the cellar and mope over me!"  
  
Spike: "I got my soul for this..?"  
  
Buffy: "You catch on quick."  
  
************* (Faith joins Spike in the cellar)  
  
Faith: "Excuse me while I ooze sexuality out of every pore."  
  
Spike: "No prob, I'll join you. Don't mind if I sit here nekkid-ish on the bed, barely covered with blankets do you?"  
  
Faith: "Course not! Oww, let me have a cigarette in such a fashion that all the guys will be sweating before I reach the end of my first drag."  
  
Spike: "Peachy. I'm just sitting here with my tussled curly hair. Still mostly naked. I think I'll pull sexy eyes. Can I have a cigarette too?"  
  
Faith: "Wait, have mine. It has my shiny lipstick on it."  
  
Spike: "Groovy. I'll suck on it in that manly sexy way. And I'll use my sultry voice. What shall we talk about?"  
  
Faith: "Oohhh excuse me while I take my jacket off and stretch in my tight, tight shirt. That's better. Talk? Oh I think I'll tell you I haven't had any sex since I was in jail with a lot of other sex starved women."  
  
Spike: "Talk on."  
  
Faith: "Yeah and then I'll tell you about the kinky sex I used to have, fulfilling guys' naughty fantasies. How does the visual of me with a bullwhip strike you? You know whipping a naked guy before screwing his brains out.."  
  
Spike: "Peachy. I happen to have a long history with that sorta thing. It's feminism. I'll comment on how you could do better....*nudge, nudge, wink, wink*"  
  
Faith: "Oh yeahh, I could. Let me just be a little more suggestive about how I could use some lovin' right about now....while I'm talking to a naked sexy vampire who showed himself to be some sorta sex god last season."  
  
Spike: "I'll worsen things by clearly getting what you mean, and clearly being very affected, but because of my puppy-loyalty to Buffy I'll look away. While continuing the talk in my sultry sexy voice."  
  
Faith: "Sounds like a good time to strut over and crawl up beside your nekkid self in bed. Get a nice shot of my boobs in too."  
  
Spike: "Peachy."  
  
Faith: "Oh! I know! I'll bring up that time I was in Buffy's body and gave you that little speech."  
  
Spike: "Perfect! What was it again.....ride me till my knees buckle...gallop..muscles I never even dreamed of...."  
  
Faith: "Yeah and you 'popping' like 'warm champagne'....excuse me while I pucker my shiny lips before erotically sucking on this cigarette again....hmmmm....."  
  
(Author's note: Ahem, Is it hot in here or is it just me?? Need a short break to take a very cold shower...be right back!)  
  
Buffy: "AHEM! Stop all that sexual stuff right now! The ratings are dropping!"  
  
Faith: "I kinda doubt that!"  
  
Buffy: "Really, TVs have been overheating all over the country! Smoke coming out of them! No one's watching anymore at this point! Not to mention that by now most people were either 'doing it', or were having a little 'private moment' already anyway! And Spike is certainly not allowed THIS kinda connecting!"  
  
Spike: "Didn't do nuthin'."  
  
Buffy: "Bad dog! Is it so hard to remember? I need to know I could have sex with you whenever I want! So you sit in the cellar and mope over me!"  
  
Spike: "Any point where we WILL have sex again?"  
  
Buffy: "No! There will be no clear decisions from me this season about love, romance, relationships or sex! Get it through your head! And as for YOU, missy...!!"  
  
Faith: "Hey, I'm just lying here, cuddled up to a hot nekkid vampire. That I could be having sweaty sex with right now if you hadn't butted in."  
  
Audience: (frantically fixing their TVs) "We'll pay to see that!!!! It's certainly not gonna come from Buffy this season, so...pant, pant!"  
  
Buffy: "NOT in the script! Now come on. We got stuff to do. An actual villain is showing up."  
  
***************  
  
Caleb: "I was unemployed when Firefly got cancelled but Joss likes me!"  
  
Joss: "Ahem.."  
  
Caleb: "Oh sorry. Right. Ahh, dirty li'l gals. Ah hate'em. Cut'em up! Slice'n dice!"  
  
Joss: "That's better."  
  
The First: "Yeah standing around talking big with your arms folded only gets you so far as a season villain...."  
  
Caleb: "Yeah and I'm a misogynistic serial killer with clear neurotic tendencies about women and their sexuality! Perfect as a last opponent for the show's feministic themes!"  
  
Joss: "Right on."  
  
Buffy: (Arrives with her war party) "Hm, a priest. Interesting. Hey, don't I know you from that cancelled Sci-Fi show?"  
  
Caleb: "Shut up!!! *WHAM!*"  
  
(Buffy flies through the room like a rag doll. Spike attacks but fares little better. Faith ditto.)  
  
Some SiT: "Uh oh...he decked Buffy with one blow and beats up the others like they're nothing! This is not good. They're establishing him as a big threat! And we're lowly SiT's with barely two lines to our unclear names! We're going to die!"  
  
Some other SiT: "Ulp! Yeah, just like the nameless crew members in those Sci-Fi shows."  
  
Caleb: "Shut UP about Sci-Fi shows already!! *CRACK* *SNAP*."  
  
(kills some girls, breaks an arm here, a neck there. You know...)  
  
Xander: "I will save the day! Like last season- GULP" (Caleb grabs him)  
  
Caleb: "Yeah, you know how this is the final season and we're near the end and shocking things are bound to happen?"  
  
Xander: "Err....."  
  
Caleb: "Well this would be one of them....." (Sticks his thumb in Xander's eye and pops it like a grape.)  
  
Xander: "AAAAHHHHH!!"  
  
Audience: "AAAAHHHHH!!" (all squirm on couch.)  
  
Joss: "Oh yeah..I'm a mean bastard. But you knew that."  
  
***********  
  
TBC! 


	7. Parody S7 Pt VII

SEASON 7 PARODY:  
  
PART VI  
  
** **  
  
Buffy: "Okay that thing with that priest guy didn't go too well. Ahem, sorry about that. But I've seen the light! We shall go BACK! In exactly the same way, with the same idea. But this time I got a 'hunch'. So that's a big difference."  
  
Everyone: "Uhm, you could be right about the hunch, sure but...uhm, maybe a slightly different approach?"  
  
Buffy: "Nah."  
  
Everyone: "Uhm, maybe play it sly and sneaky this time, scouting the place out instead of waltzing in again?"  
  
Buffy: "Nah, just like the last time. Seemed good to me."  
  
Everyone: "......."  
  
Buffy: "What? You dare disobey me?? You all suck! I rule. Do as I say. Blah! Blahblahgeneralblah. Blahleadertiblah!!"  
  
Everyone: "That was one speech too many. Election time!"  
  
Buffy: "What?? Come on Xander, it's not like you lost BOTH eyes! And we've still got plenty of annoying girls left!"  
  
Everyone: "Yer outta here."  
  
Buffy: "Uh, okay as leaders go I've had a few ups and downs but isn't this a bit much all of a sudden?"  
  
Dawn: "Being your little sister, I have the power and authori-theye to throw you out of your own house."  
  
Buffy: "Whaat? In what universe? This house is in my name! I live here! Everyone here is a guest! I've been taking you deadbeats in for a year now! And you're not even really my sister! You don't like me or my plans, how about everyone BUT me leaves!??"  
  
Everyone: "Hmmm. No, we like the first idea better."  
  
Buffy: "Woah, can't argue with that. Guess I'm outta here."  
  
************  
  
Spike: "Soo where's Buffy?"  
  
Faith: "We kicked her out. Now let's get it on."  
  
Spike: "Wuh?"  
  
Faith: "Well we're not gonna be having any sex, so let's do the next best thing."  
  
Spike: "Right. *WHAM*!"  
  
(Spike and Faith fight but it doesn't turn into a 'Smashed' thing....And even though I'm as Spuffy as they come, part of me still kinda regrets it. I'm a guy. Sue me. Faith is hot.  
  
And Spike could at least have made Buffy a little jealous with Faith. Which I would've liked to see. IMHO Buffy's a walking fridge to him this season. I think I actually saw a light go on in her mouth once when she talked. Anyhoo...)  
  
**************  
  
Faith: "Well, I didn't ask for this but I'll do my best to lead.."  
  
Kennedy: "Shut up! Don't you know we voted for you so that *I* could be in charge??? What are you, stupid?"  
  
Faith: "Yo, can I feed her to Spike? If I run I could still catch him. I'm sure he hasn't eaten in a while. That okay?"  
  
Joss: "Nope."  
  
Faith: "Bummer. Anyway, let's go catch a Bringer to question him. Hmm, we need bait. Oh, whoever shall we use???"  
  
Kennedy: "Uh what's everyone looking at me for??"  
  
Audience: (Grins) "Well, so far we like Faith's leadership...."  
  
(Kennedy is used as bait to catch a Bringer. Unfortunately, they catch him before he kills her.)  
  
Audience: "Damn! Couldn't they have moved in a little later?? They still would have caught him! Now we'll never be rid of her..*sigh*."  
  
Faith: "Hey, yo! I, like, tried. Y'knowuhmsayin'?? Word up!"  
  
Audience: "Yeahhhh, that's another thing. Why does Faith suddenly talk like Ice Cube this season?"  
  
Joss: "Uh, she picked it up in prison?"  
  
Audience: "Fine, we'll go with it.... We'll go with it....."  
  
Male audience members: "But we're never forgiving you for the leather pants thing!!"  
  
Joss: "Ah, but have I got a surprise in store! This ep, tonight, everyone has SEX! Don't say I never gave you people anything."  
  
Audience: "Woohoo!!"  
  
Spike: "Woohooo!! Finally! And so fitting. Just as I found Buffy in that house, and give her that speech where I show her the kind of love, support and genuine, heart-breaking devotion that would make a stone cry....."  
  
Stone on the ground: "And he ain't just whistling Dixie either....Oh man...*snff*"  
  
Joss: "Did I say 'everyone'? Sorry about that, Spike. Everyone but you."  
  
Spike: "......this isn't funny anymore."  
  
Buffy: "Hey, look on the bright side, you sit at my feet in worshipful attitude, I give you more mixed signals, confusing, intense looks and we get to cuddle."  
  
Spike: "That's great but couldn't we cuddle *afterwards*?"  
  
Joss: "No. Now get cuddling. And Buffy, make sure that when you hold him while he sleeps you just stare at him like you're not sure what kind of bug he is. No kiss on the head, no fingers stroking his hair..nothing like that. Got it?"  
  
Buffy: "Okidoki."  
  
Spike: "THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE!!"  
  
Joss: "I work in mysterious ways. Now, basically everyone else: have sex!"  
  
Wood: "Woohoo! Jungle fevah after all!"  
  
Faith: "It'll do I guess. But really, after my basement scene with Spike.."  
  
Audience: "....even having actual sex with Wood pales in comparison. And why on earth does she keep her bra on?? Yeah, nah, sorry, doesn't quite work. What else you got?"  
  
Joss: "Well, Xander and Anya have sex too."  
  
Audience: "Aww, that's nice. Most of us know by now that she's a goner, so...."  
  
Anya: "What??"  
  
Joss: "Nothing, hehe. They don't know what they're talking about. Go have sex."  
  
Audience: "Riiiight. Anyway, it's sweet, but not really 'smoldering'. Xander kind of looks like somebody's uncle by now. What else you got?"  
  
Joss: "Well there's the first recorded lesbian sex scene on network TV with Willow and....."  
  
Audience: "DON'T SAY THAT NAME!"  
  
Joss: "Uh..did I mention Kennedy has a tongue piercing?"  
  
Kennedy: "Yeahhhh and isn't it cool how I'm 'in charge' here? Like Willow is actually the inexperienced younger girl that I teach the ways of luuvin..come here li'l girl...come to Kennedy...."  
  
Audience: "Urrrglll!!!!! When..does..the hurting..stop?? Pleaase, does it finally end with Kennedy ripped to bits by Dark Willow??"  
  
Joss: "For the last time NO, Kennedy's here to stay."  
  
Audience: "Urggllllll!!!! For an ep with so much sex this is oddly unsatisfying."  
  
Joss: "There's just no pleasing you people!"  
  
**********  
  
Buffy: "Well, Spike served his purpose. He gave me strength and courage and restored my faith in myself. There's only one reaction to that."  
  
(Buffy leaves Spike to wake alone like he was a hooker. The only thing missing is some dollar bills on the night stand. And, of course, the sex. Also missing. She leaves him a note. We don't learn what it says. Could be a grocery list for all we know. Hell it probably is. "We're out of milk!")  
  
Buffy: "I am back at the vineyard all alone!"  
  
Caleb: "Okay, considering I kicked your ass several times already, even when you had an army with you, how is this NOT gonna end with you beaten to a pulp!?"  
  
Buffy: "I dunno. Just is."  
  
(Caleb tries to hit Buffy, and I guess she tries to dodge him and not let him lay a hand on her rather than try to fight him. I think that's the idea but I'm not really sure because she mainly looks like she almost falls over a couple of times. Really, the fight scenes over in 'Angel' are far better choreographed lately.)  
  
Buffy: "Cool, I survived and got this ax!"  
  
Joss: "It's a scythe."  
  
Buffy: "Uhm, it's really not. This is an ax. It's a scythe when the blade comes out of the handle at almost a 90 degree angle and it has...."  
  
Joss: "IT'S A SCYTHE!"  
  
Buffy: "Fine, fine. Jeez. But erm, I don't get it, if Caleb and the First didn't want me to have this, and they can't wield it themselves, why did they even dig it up?"  
  
Caleb: "Uh...."  
  
Buffy: "I didn't even know it existed so if you'd just left it buried...."  
  
The First: "She has a point.."  
  
Joss: "*Ahem* come on people, we have more to do. Can't stand around yapping all day."  
  
** **  
  
TBC! 


	8. Parody S7 Pt VIII

SEASON 7 PARODY:  
  
PART VIII  
  
** **  
  
Caleb (to the First): "Okay I'm confused, first we dig that weapon up for her..."  
  
Audience: "Then YOU literally open the hatch for her.."  
  
Caleb: "....*AHEM*, and now you're ordering me to let her escape with it?"  
  
The First: "Yes!!"  
  
Caleb: "Why?? She's gonna chop me up with it first chance she gets!"  
  
The First: (Evil laugh): "Hahah! In my evil brilliance I have it all worked out. That she HAS the weapon is GOOD for us! Because....uh...because...hang on...because...uhm...dang...."  
  
Caleb: "Groan...."  
  
Audience: "Not even getting into this one.."  
  
The First: "No! I got it! You're weak now! And she's strong. We'll 'merge' later again which is the source of your strength! Ah? Ah? Not so glib now eh?"  
  
Caleb: "Works for me. Although, uhm....I've never actually shown any sign at all of getting weaker.. And she was all alone now. Next time she might be all prepared and have back up and magic spells and stuff, and..Wasn't this really the best opportunity we ever had?"  
  
The First: "You're not helping...!"  
  
*******************  
  
Faith: "Phew, I led them into a trap pretty much as stupidly as Buffy did. Another bunch of girls dead."  
  
Audience: "We'll get over it..."  
  
Faith: "Course I'm still alive, yo. Even though I was practically standing on the bomb. Ahhh, good to be regular..or at least a recurring character..."  
  
Audience: "Tell that to Jenny Calendar when Angelus snapped her neck. Or Kendra when Dru slashed her throat. Or Angel when Buffy skewered him and sent him to hell. Or Tara when she got shot. Or Jonathon when he got gutted. Or .."  
  
Faith: "Gulp! Damn, and I'm not THAT regular! Am I gonna survive this??"  
  
Audience: "You'd better! We're not gonna watch "Kennedy the Vampire Slayer" as a new spin off!!"  
  
Kennedy: "Ohh you're just saying that! Just wait till I show Joss my ideas. Like when I'm running a new school of Slayers! 'Kennedy Slayer High -Where Maggots learn to Obey'!"  
  
Audience: (crying) "Someone make it stop! Please! Can't...take...more.."  
  
Faith: "Can't gab now! We gotta split yo! I'm out for the count and you're stuck in the sewers with Ubervamps!"  
  
SiTs: "AAAHHHH!!"  
  
Audience: "Well, this should be fun! We'll even ignore the question where these buggers came from since only one Ubervamp came through the seal earlier and it's still closed.."  
  
(The Ubervamps attack and eat a SiT. Kennedy tries to act tough. She's about to be the second course but..sigh.....Buffy has to ruin it and save her. Bloody do-gooder.)  
  
Buffy: "Hey I'm the hero of the show. Sorry, but I have to save her."  
  
Audience: "Yeah, yeah...get on with it."  
  
(They bring lots of wounded girls back to the house. Anya and Andrew play nurse. Nothing to spoof. That was just damn funny. "Aw.Trying to talk will only kill you sooner." LOL. Sorry, got a dark sense of humor.  
  
Buffy and Faith bond over being Slayers. They decide their lot is grim, but relieved a bit by the fact they're hot chicks with superpowers.... Yeah, can't argue with that. Arf! Arf! *Ahem*, anyhoo..)  
  
*********************  
  
Spike: "Hi Buffy. Cool ax- I mean scythe. Sure looks worth dumping me over."  
  
Buffy: "Sure is! Shiny!"  
  
Spike: "That's fine, not enough bits of my heart left by now anyway."  
  
Buffy: "Well then it's time to give you a speech of how incredible our cuddling night was. How much it touched me and meant to me. How I'm tired of awkwardness and mixed signals."  
  
Audience: "That's ALMOST funny coming from her."  
  
Spike: "SHHHH! Let her talk!! Buffy, last night was the best night of my life. I'm terrified..."  
  
Buffy: (sweetly) "You don't have to be...."  
  
(Spikes eyes grow wide)  
  
Buffy: "We need to acknowledge the significance of that beautiful night and deal with our feelings for each other."  
  
Spike: "Gasp! Really??"  
  
Buffy: "Yes! I was THERE with you. Maybe.....maybe when all this is over....??"  
  
Spike: "DOUBLEGASP! Really??? Does this mean..????"  
  
Buffy (shrugs): "Pfffff, who said it MEANT anything?? Weirdo."  
  
Spike: ".....Joss, you know that dying thing I do at the end? Could I do that NOW? I mean, really, I can't take much more of this."  
  
Joss: "Nah. Suck it up."  
  
Buffy: "....like it has to....you know, *MEAN* something. Where does he GET that stuff? Pffff!"  
  
************  
  
(Buffy meets white haired priestess/witch woman)  
  
Buffy: "Galadriel??"  
  
Witch Woman: "Nah, but I get that a lot."  
  
Buffy: "So, you made the scythe?"  
  
Witch Woman: "Yes, you see it is a WEAPON..Forged to FIGHT with."  
  
Buffy: "Uh yeah thanks, I got that part already."  
  
Witch Woman: "I have survived centuries, sitting here staring at the walls, JUST so I could have this talk with you."  
  
Buffy: "Wow, and you haven't actually told me all that much!"  
  
Caleb: "Nor is she gonna! *CRACK*" (breaks her neck)  
  
Buffy: "Damn."  
  
(Buffy and Caleb fight. Decent fight. It ends with Caleb beating her and on the verge of killing her.)  
  
Angel: "HAH! Suddenly I show up and punch Caleb so hard he flies through the room and he's almost knocked out! Even though even Buffy couldn't really do that."  
  
Audience: "Say how'd Angel even know she was in this secret hidden temple?"  
  
Angel: "Uh....something...Wolfram & Harty..magic. Or something. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, heeere I come to save he daaay!"  
  
(Angel sure smirks a lot for a guy who just has been through a harsh war that killed a lot of people that he couldn't save, almost killed him and his friends, and cost him his current love interest Cordelia as well as his son.  
  
Oh well. Time to kiss Buffy.)  
  
Buffy: "Angel!" (Kisses him)  
  
Spike: "And I'm right on time to witness it and not do a bloody thing about it. You know, I would really, really like to do that dying thing now..."  
  
Joss: "Not an option."  
  
Spike: "Sigh.....what a season I'm having...."  
  
** **  
  
TBC! NEXT UP THE CONCLUSION: CHOSEN. 


	9. Parody S7 Pt IX

SEASON 7 PARODY:  
  
PART IX A look at the first half of 'Chosen'  
  
(WARNING: For some people that don't know cuz they live on the moon, there are some spoilers in here about Angel Season 5. Just so you know. But really, we all know by now, right?)  
  
** **  
  
(Caleb gets up and knocks Angel out, and he and Buffy start fighting again. For some reason Spike still stands behind the pillar and doesn't do a damn thing. This time the fight ends with Buffy planting the blade in Caleb's gonads. Ouch.)  
  
Caleb: "Urgll. This must be that feminism thing Spike was talking about."  
  
Buffy: "Yep!"  
  
(She chops him in half. Anyway, NOW Spike leaves.)  
  
Buffy: "Oh Angel, let me bask in your presence!"  
  
Angel: "I smell Spike on you!"  
  
Audience: "He can smell Spike on her...but couldn't hear or smell him when he was standing 5 feet away from him in the same room??"  
  
Angel: "Do you love him? Is he your new boyfriend?"  
  
Buffy: "No. Having said that, let me add you shouldn't get crazy every time I have a NEW BOYFRIEND!"  
  
Angel: "I'm so confused."  
  
Audience: "Aren't we all..."  
  
Buffy: "I don't think about the future anyway but I right now don't see me and Spike having fat grand children together."  
  
Audience: (*Rolls over the floor with laughter at the notion that the offspring of Spike and Buffy could have any body fat whatsoever.*)  
  
Buffy: "But it's none of your business how close I am to Spike now and what I've done with him. And he has a soul now."  
  
Angel: "I was first! In uh, more ways than one. Ahem."  
  
Buffy: "Yes, and let me ignore that remark about you popping my cherry by pointing out that you got your soul FORCED on you. About 3 times by now, where Spike actually went out to get his soul voluntarily. Out of love for me."  
  
Angel: "Grumble. If you wanna put it like THAT...... So you DO love him?"  
  
Buffy: "He's in my heart."  
  
Angel: "What does that mean??"  
  
Buffy: "Who the hell knows."  
  
Angel: "Am *I* in your heart?"  
  
Buffy: "Hmmm, with you I'd more say: 'I still have deep feelings for you and probably always will'."  
  
Angel: "Groan...come on now. Do you love Spike or me??"  
  
Audience: "Yes for frag's sake!! SAY something!" (Spuffies and Bangels both go nuts.)  
  
Buffy: "Sorry, this is season 7, I am not capable of being clear about love, romance, relationships or sex. I think Joss doesn't want to piss off either shipper camp. Let me give you a little speech about this......"  
  
Angel: "Oh no..."  
  
Buffy: "What? You don't like my speeches either?"  
  
Angel: "Can't comment on your latest ones, but let's see. First time we got separated I went to hell. When I came back you gave me this big speech on how your new boyfriend "Scott" was just sooo great and so much BETTER for you than me...."  
  
Audience: "Don't feel too bad. He dumped her right away."  
  
Angel: "And later when I went to LA and we met again, you gave me another little speech on how much better RILEY was for you and how much more you trusted him than me, and how HAPPY you were!"  
  
Audience: "Yeah, left her too."  
  
Angel: "So no! I don't like your speeches much!"  
  
Buffy: "Oh, but this speech is different! It's about cookie dough."  
  
Angel: "...Wuh?"  
  
Buffy: "Really, it works. It means I'm not 'done baking yet'. The philosophy behind it allows me to just 'sample' guys like you and Spike, and get all the sex and the kissing and the cuddling I need without having to commit to either one of you. It's popular among frat boys too I hear. But let me give you a vague cryptic hint that maybe one day you could be with me again. But then again maybe not. Keeping you guys on a string is a big part of Cookie Dough Philosophy."  
  
Angel: "Gotcha. I'm beginning to remember why I left for LA. Going back there now."  
  
Spike: "I wanna do that too! Can I??"  
  
Angel: "Maybe later."  
  
**************  
  
Spike: "I saw you with Angel and you smell like him! Excuse me while I punch the crap out of this punching bag with an Angel drawing on it."  
  
Audience: "Now THIS is funny stuff."  
  
Buffy: "Hey, quit the jealous ranting. I live by the Cookie Dough Philosophy so I can do whatever I want. Speaking of what I want, any chance of you and Angel wrestling naked with some kinda oil involved?"  
  
Female part of the audience: "We'll pay to see THAT!!!"  
  
Spike: "Maybe next season of 'Angel'."  
  
Female part of the audience: *shivers with anticipation*  
  
Buffy: "Here's an amulet that cold possibly kill you. Now after having been caught kissing Angel I want more cuddling from you."  
  
Spike: "Let me briefly do an imitation of a guy with an ounce of pride before I give you exactly what you want and don't deserve."  
  
Buffy: "See? Cookie Dough Philosophy works!"  
  
**************  
  
(Faith has her scene with Wood. It is so funny I can't spoof a damn thing about it. 'Enthused'..cracks me up every time.)  
  
***************  
  
Buffy: "I have a plan. All you SiTs will have to make a decision. It's important and the effects will reach all over the world and into the future."  
  
Kennedy: "Will I be boss!!??"  
  
Buffy: "Sigh....no but you may have to kill Willow."  
  
Audience: "Noooo, you're confused! We requested that vice versa!!"  
  
(Everyone goes to the school. Heartfelt looks, almost-goodbyes and a little moment of the four core-characters standing together. Ah, has it really been 7 years already..)  
  
Buffy: "Alright. Here we go. We opened the Hellmouth and now Willow does her magic thing spreading the Slayer power and my brilliant plan will lead us to victory!"  
  
Audience: "So that's your plan? Instead of two Slayers, a bunch of girls and one vampire vs. THOUSANDS of Ubervamps, you now have a DOZEN Slayers and one vampire vs. THOUSANDS of Ubervamps?? Do you notice you didn't actually change the odds all that much there?"  
  
Buffy: "Okay well, if you want to put it like THAT..."  
  
Audience: "Or did you figure al those new Slayers around the world would instantly come running? They have no idea about what's going on here or even what happened to them. And you did have that vision of how many Ubervamps there were down here right? It's not like it's a surprise to you."  
  
Buffy: (pouts)"......maybe I forgot...."  
  
Audience: "Sweet girl, not that bright."  
  
Buffy: "Hey now! We have that amulet thingie Spike is wearing!"  
  
Audience: "Which is nothing you planned on. And you don't even know what it does yet, if it does anything at all. No really, this was your plan? Because honestly, those handful of girls you turned into Slayers are still as green as grass. And earlier you could barely even defeat ONE of those vamps."  
  
Buffy: ".....shut up."  
  
(Willow does the spell. Ah well, at least she did SOMETHING this season. The white hair moment. She says "Oh my goddess." Which should really make a lot of FanFic writers happy who've had her saying "Goddess!!" at every other turn for years already. At least now she actually said it on the show once.  
  
The battle starts and the Ubervamps are suddenly very weak. As said, earlier it took Buffy forever to kill even one, but now suddenly even powerless Anya can kill 2 in as many seconds. Still, cool fight scenes.)  
  
Anya: "WOW! Look at me go! URCKKK!!"  
  
(Anya gets chopped in half.)  
  
Audience: "OWWW! Man! That was HARSH!"  
  
Joss: "Really? I actually mellowed that down a bit from my earlier ideas. Like the one where the Ubervamps get her and they...."  
  
Audience: "We DON'T want to KNOW!"  
  
**********  
  
TBC! OK I know I said this would be concluded now but this got away from me, so it's not finished yet. But what I had was usual chapter length so I thought I'd post it and not have everyone wait. So NEXT time REALLY the end.  
  
No, really.  
  
Sowwy. 


	10. Parody S7 Pt X

SEASON 7 PARODY:  
  
PART X (Final Chapter. Really.)  
  
(WARNING: Same warning as last time. There are some minor spoilers in here about Angel Season 5. But honestly if you are surprised by it you've been living under a rock.)  
  
** ** Spike: "Here we go then. Time for my grand finale."  
  
(The amulet starts to work. Spike stands in the light and Ubervamp legions are dusted, the Hellmouth starts to cave. Faith and the SiTs that are left get the hell out.  
  
Kennedy is among them. Thousands of Ubervamps and not even one could bite her head off...but let's not dwell on it. I didn't write this.  
  
Anyway, Buffy runs to Spike. She is actually caring and almost seems loving. The flames-on-the-hand moment. As we all remember from personal experience no doubt, everyone in the audience with a pulse gets pretty much choked up at this point. Buffy speaks...)  
  
Buffy: "I love you."  
  
Spike: "Like I can really buy THAT by now...."  
  
Buffy: *Utter silence and intense emotional look* (Which emotion is completely unclear. As usual.)  
  
Spike: "To the very end.....yeah I KNOW those looks by now. Please, just go. Being in love with you makes turning to dust seem like an appealing alternative."  
  
Buffy (runs off): "Why did he say that? And why didn't he believe that I really love him? I gave him the best vague looks of my life!"  
  
(Spike stays behind, alone. He turns to dust with a final grin. Anyone with a pulse in the audience starts sniffing. Really, you should've seen me and my wife. Well, she was worse than I....obviously. I mean.....you know.  
  
Good thing we were at the Los Angeles Buffy Bash when we saw it. It's helps when an entire crowd around you is sniffing too.  
  
Afterwards, Sunnydale is a big crater. Buffy & Co stand at the edge and are pretty chipper for people who just lost a few friends, not to mention their homes and everything they own. Oh and Buffy's gaping gut wound is apparently not all that bothersome.  
  
The final shot is of Buffy. Take a moment. Yes I know it's actually yet another vague look, but let's face it, it's still Buffy. And anyone reading this knows we're all still fans. What're ya gonna do...)  
  
Joss: "Whew. That was it. A lot of work. And of course the final episode is NOT two hours long as was rumored very early on and I didn't really have time to properly deal with things. So Xander just had time for a funny remark about Anya's tragic death. And Spike's magnificent sacrifice got one word. Exactly. ('Spike..') But at least now my master plan is revealed with Kennedy."  
  
Audience: "We can't wait to hear this one....."  
  
Joss: "Hey you always complain I'm so cruel and have every happy couple meet some disastrous end."  
  
Audience: "Nahhh, what makes you say that? Oh wait:  
  
Buffy / Angel: One big mess,  
  
Giles / Jenny: One dead.  
  
Xander / Cordelia: Broken up  
  
Willow / Oz: Broken up.  
  
Buffy / Riley: Broken up. (Which was..survivable.)  
  
Willow / Tara: One dead,  
  
Xander and Anya: broken up and maimed AND dead,  
  
Buffy / Spike: Don't even get us started on how messy THAT got! Oh, and dead."  
  
Joss: "Well, here we have at least ONE happy couple at the end. You may thank me now."  
  
Audience: "(Sharpens knives) So for THIS we had Willow reduced to crap-all this season? So she could end up in the most hated relationship of the show!? Of all those couples THIS is the one you have at the end?? "  
  
Joss: "You're welcome! Anything else? Ah of course, I ended with that beautiful notion of feminism. All those empowered girls"  
  
Audience: "Yeah, was fitting. We can't help wondering though, if female crime is gonna be on the rise now, hehe. Maybe a sudden increase of girl- gangs or battered husbands!"  
  
Joss: "Just my kind of feminism..hmmm strong beautiful women that beat you....Ahem! Anyway, that's about it. Think it worked. Okay, a FEW loose ends, lapses in logic and inconsistencies. But you've pointed them out by now...ahem...."  
  
Audience: "SOME of them. There are actually a lot of little things left. Like how in the flashbacks of S7, 'Spike-as-William' looked totally different from the S5 flashbacks. Even though it was supposed to be the same guy in the same couple of days. Completely different hair anyone? Or how Buffy even knew that Faith and the SiTs were in that exact spot in the sewers. And really wasn't it a lot safer if they'd done the Slayer Power Spell FIRST? Before they went inside the Hellmouth? To see if it actually worked? Or how earlier, Wood could look at Spike in his rear view MIRROR in the car. Or......."  
  
Joss: "Guys....have a heart."  
  
Audience: "Fine, fine. You DID still create some damn classic TV in the past 7 years....we'll let up."  
  
Joss: "Phew. Ok anything else I should touch upon? Nah, I gotta leave stuff open in case that 'Buffy: The Movie' deal ever happens."  
  
Sarah Michelle Gellar: "Sorry Joss, I'm done. I've started a new stage in my career with an exciting new movie franchise: 'Scooby Doo'. It will soon take it's place next to 'Lord of the Rings', 'Star Wars' and the 'Godfather' as one of history's great cinema epics."  
  
Alyson Hannigan: "Yeah, I'm in a great franchise too! You know, the one about those horny teenage boys who screw pies and pee on each other!! In it I do great things like give blowjobs under tables and tell stories about sticking a flute up my..."  
  
Nicholas Brendon: "Now me! I will have my own sitcom called 'The Pool at Maddy Breakers'!! What......? Already cancelled? But...but..it didn't even start yet.."  
  
Eliza Dushku: "And I will be the star of a new show where I, like help a new dead person every week by reliving the last day. So it's like 'Touched by an Early Edition on Groundhog Day!' Uh, or something. It will do great! I'm only up against 'Survivor', 'Scrubs' and the final season of 'Friends', so no prob there!"  
  
Joss: "They'll be back.....all of them....oh yeah."  
  
Kristy Swanson: "Uh...I'M available? Joss? Remember me? If you wanna do a new 'Buffy' movie..."  
  
Joss: "........"  
  
Iyari Limon: "Forget that! I got my proposal here for the KENNEDY SPIN OFF! Woohoo!!"  
  
Joss: "......."  
  
Kristy & Iyari: "Joss?"  
  
Joss: (Runs to car. Starts engine and drives off with screeching tires.) "Lalalala didn't hear anything, lalalala..."  
  
**********  
  
Epilogue.  
  
Spike: "Pffff what a year. Now I'm just gonna lie here on this cloud, until it's time to get resurrected again in 'Angel'. Cool beans. Hopefully there'll be more to my character than just moping over Buffy. Chances of us ending up together are not to great by now I guess. Man, never even once had sex with her again. At least I don't think so. There WAS that weird scene where she comes to me in the basement and we just stare at each other before Joss cuts to black. What was THAT supposed to be? Giving Spuffies something to speculate about I guess..... Otherwise, Season Sex was more fun for me in a couple of ways. But anyway, LA here I come! Please, no more trouble with blond haired women for this vampire for a while!"  
  
Harmony: "Blondie beeeaaar, guess who's gonna be on 'Angel' tooo? And I feel we really need to talk about how we broke up!"  
  
Buffy: "Yeah and you KNOW I'm gonna be visiting at some point, most likely to tease both you and Angel a bit before I take off again....It'll be sweet. I'm already practicing cryptic lines and vague looks so I'll have enough for both of you!!"  
  
Spike: "........bollocks!!"  
  
** **  
  
THE END  
  
AN: Alrighty that was it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm glad so many people liked it since I was a tad nervous about it. Some people hate to see anything 'Buffy' being spoofed, because it's 'sacrilege' or something. I was half expecting to be flamed into next Thursday! So, pleasantly surprised. We all had some issues with S7 I guess....;-) It was maybe a teensy bit more spoofable than some other seasons.  
  
But then I've had some issues with almost every season. Unavoidable. And since this was a lot of fun to write I'm considering spoofing another season. Would that be a good idea? Or are older seasons water under the bridge by now? Lemme know what you all think.  
  
BTW once last time let me state I didn't 'hate' season 7 or anything. There was plenty good and funny stuff. I just had a ...few.... points to make about it. Ahem. And even a flawed Buffy season still beats the crap out of practically all other TV anyway. Big Buffy fan, never doubt it.  
  
Also, I make fun, but I wish all the actors who've moved on all the best. And I'm gonna watch Eliza's "Tru" and hope it's good. I just don't think it has a very big chance. Ahem. What I'm REALLY looking forward to however is the last bastion of the Buffyverse, 'Angel'. Him and Spike together on a show should be fun!  
  
Gonna shut up now. Oy what an annoyingly long Author's Note. Dontcha hate those?  
  
Guys?  
  
Hello? 


End file.
